Online Dating Exposed

Hello ladies! We've made it to Tuesday and I couldn't be happier. Monday was a day from hell and I'm so glad it's over. It ended with my dropping a plate of freshly baked cookies on to a floor that I need to sweep and mop. What a funny sense of humor that man upstairs has.
Sweet, sweet Meighan is hosting a one day link up tomorrow and I just have to participate, so you will be getting your weekly dose of outrageously bad dating pictures a day early.

Speaking of, if you have some pictures to share - send them to talesofatwentysomethingblogger@gmail.com - I'd be glad to share them! 
First up today is the gentleman that I'd like to call: Date Photobomber

In a world full of selfie takers, Date Photobomber had to be aware of the sweet couple behind him taking a stroll in the park. My question, why didn't he wait until they exited the picture OR crop them out? One word: creepy
This next guy is extra special. He will be a double feature this week. So we shall call him: double feature

Exhibit A: Double feature likes to wear camo, drink out of red solo cups and party. Just like every other drunk person at a party, he also likes to take pictures... with really really really drunk girls. And use it as his profile picture on a dating website. I smell a winner.

Exhibit B: Not only does he get drunk and take pictures with other really drunk girls, but he drinks and poses very intimately with girls. See a pattern here?

Following Double Feature will be hard, but I hope that a guy (and his "friend) that I'd like to call Thing 1 & Thing 2

I can't help but be reminded of Whitney & Erin's awesome t-shirts from their NYC extravaganza, but this is awkward. I can't remember the last time my brother and I matched for an event... oh wait, we haven't. I think it's safe to say that these two are a little more than family or friends.

Last, but certainly not least I have a great one for you. You know how I feel about multiple guys in a picture, but add a few girls and the picture is just completely wrong. Let's just call this one: group date

I'm just going to hope (for the sake of daters out there) that the gentleman in this picture that is actually ON the dating website, is the guy on the left. Otherwise, your date may end up being a little grabby - if you get my drift.

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And just so you aren't scared for the rest of the day, I want to introduce you to a blogger who is UH-MAY-ZING!

Meet Shannon from Gin & Bare It

Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Bloglovin  Now a little about Shannon
this is awkward.  because i feel like my blog is awkward and possibly the very definition of "self-deprecating."  but things are weird in my life.  my dogs are weird, my fiance is weird, there are things that happen to me that are weird.  and then i blog about them.  so i guess if it's possible for a blog to be about everything and nothing all at the same time then you've basically hit the motherload with mine.

take me out to the ballpark and make me a drink responsibly

Drink and baseball, a match made in heaven.

Candy Crush is the New Meth

A girl after my own heart.

I Like Your Horn

String & Rhinos

Happy Tuesday lovelies!

The Weekend to Top All Weekends

WOW! Where do I even begin? As you all know, I was in Charlotte, NC this weekend for Bloggy Boot Camp. Obviously I want to tell you ALL about that experience, or at least the parts I can remember and decipher from my notes, but I need some time to prepare that post! So, I'll tell you about the social part of my weekend. The part where I got to road trip with Allison and FINALLY meet some of my favorite blogging ladies, plus many more!

Friday morning I picked Allison up from her house and we packed our stuff in the car. After a few attempts we got everything in the back seat. We started the morning with Bojangles, just like any good road trip. After a quick trip to Target, we then stopped for mani/pedi's. Allison recommended a nail salon with a full bar. Any time mimosas are offered, I'm game. We finally got on the road and in no time we stopped for lunch. We stopped at a local restaurant named Ham's. They have the best cheese fries ever... and I mean ever!

We made it to Charlotte around four. We were totally the girls screaming from excitement in the hotel lobby when we all met! Just for the record - Ricci, Jenn and Rebekah were as pretty and as fun in person as they seem on their blogs. After checking in, we headed to our rooms (which ended up being across the hall from each other). We took another quick trip to Target and got the essentials, but only after Siri told us to park our car and WALK to our location. We were in a neighborhood... and I wish I was kidding. We had to hurry and get ready for the Collective Bias cocktail party, which was a blast!

If you've been around these parts for any amount of time, you know of my special kind of love for Ricci and Jenn. To finally get to meet them was the highlight of my weekend. We hit it off immediately and knew we were meant to be friends. The Collective Bias cocktail party offered drinks, hor d'oeuvres and good company. Including Tiff and Fran the owners of Sits Girls and Cyn who works with them. All were hilarious and a really great time!

We were all beyond hungry by the end of the cocktail party. Let's be honest, cheese and crackers don't do it for us girls. We decided on Harper's, a local restaurant to Charlotte. I quickly decided on the pepperoni pizza and I wasn't disappointed! As bloggers, we document everything, so obviously Jenn riding in the trunk needed to be documented right? Right.

We got to bed relatively early because we had a Bojangles date the next morning. Again, y'all know my love of Bojangles and I was SO excited to finally share that with the girls. Bloggy Boot Camp started at 9AM and I found myself sending funny pictures to the girls since we were assigned different seats.

We learned quite a bit of information during the morning sessions and enjoyed some great tea, coffee or lemonade from Brew Over Ice. Lunch was located in one of the garden courtyards and luckily enough Allison, Ricci and I were assigned to the same table. After lunch we had an afternoon snack provided by Salsaritas.

After Bloggy Boot Camp wrapped up we had a wine tasting cocktail party hosted by Mirassou. I can't even begin to tell you how delicious the moscato was. If you can find this brand in your local store, buy it. After the cocktail party, we headed to Salsaritas for dinner and had amazing burritos, chips and queso. 
We finished up the night just spending time together, developing hundreds of inside jokes and wishing our trip wasn't over.
Sunday morning involved a trip to McDonald's, a two story McDonald's at that for some pancakes. We sad our very sad goodbyes and parted ways.
Ladies - I can't even tell you how great of a weekend I had and how much I already miss you all! Let's do this again soon please? Tiff, Fran and Cyn - y'all are invited too!

linking up with Sami love!

In My Absence, I leave the best

Hey Y'all! I'm not here today. Well I am, but I'm not.   You see right now, Allison and I are either: 1. Getting mimosa induced mani/pedi's 2. Road tripping it to Charlotte 3. or Shopping - cause that's always a possibility TODAY IS BBC!   And to celebrate - use code BBC Char (yes there is a space) for 25% off the in-post feature spot! I feel like it's taken forever to get here, but it's finally here! I can't wait to meet all the ladies attending! So in my absence, I got one of the prettiest, smartest, funniest girls around to fill in for me!  Ladies and Gentleman - Tyler or as I like to call her Ty-Ty Princess Face :)     Hello bunnybears!  I'm Tyler from Arkansassy, and while AllieCat is away playing in Bloglandia, I'm stopping by to tell you guys one of my very favorite ridiculous stories.

This is one of those stories that I wouldn’t believe unless I was there.  And honestly, it’s still hard for me to believe, even though I was there.  For those of you who don’t know, I lived in California in 2008.  I was in Santa Barbara for a little while, and then in West Hollywood for the rest of the time.  The very first night I was there set me up for thinking that every night was a bottle-poppin’ glitter night with legends.

(and it sort of was, but that’s beside the point)

When I flew into California, my friend Kelly picked me up at the airport and we headed into LA to go to her friend’s birthday party.  Seemingly innocuous enough.  I failed to understand that her friend was Richard Perry, a music producer who has worked with everyone from Rod Stewart to Ray Charles.  We get to dinner at a very nice restaurant, and we’re back in a private room without about ten other people.  I’m across the gargantuan table from Kelly, sipping dirty martinis and chatting with an incredibly charming older British fellow who introduced himself to me as Robby.  The man was perfect, and he loved music, and at that twenty-four year old point in my life, he could have read me the phone book in that Prince William voice and I would have swooned.  I also had quite the thing for the older gentlemen in my younger years.  

(sorry, Dad)

After about an hour, I get up to go to the restroom.  One of the other ladies from the table came with me.  We’re chatting at the mirror, reapplying lips, and she says something to the effect of, “I can’t believe you and Robby are getting along so well.  I didn't think someone your age would know who he was.”

And that’s when the panic hit.

Oh no.  I’m supposed to know who he is.

So that’s what I said.

Should I know who he is?

And then the lady kind of giggled and said, “Honey.  That’s Robert Plant.”

...........................

And then I died.  

I had been talking to a rock legend for over an hour in a very intimate setting and I didn’t even know.  What a clown.

And then the situation turned decidedly Clueless when I got back to the table and couldn’t keep my schtuff together anymore.  It was like Cher trying to talk to Josh after she realized she loved him.  So I just kept drinking and trying not to Wayne and Garth him.

Oh, and then Warren Beatty showed up and I died again.

And when we all went and afterpartied in Richard’s Hollywood Hills home - me, Robert Plant, Warren Beatty, and a last minute addition of Bill Maher - it was hard for me to not be a clown.  As I recall, Bill was a great bartender, Robert was a hoot, and Warren drunk dialed my mom at 4:00 a.m.  Oh, and then we all drunk dialed Carly Simon and giggled.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

(and a lot was edited to protect the not-so-innocent)

So that was my first night in Angel Town.

And probably the single coolest night of my entire life.

And nothing remotely as cool has happened to me since.

 

But if you want to read some of my boring lawyer stories, you can find me here.  Sometimes I reminisce stories like this so I still feel interesting :)

Happy Happy Happy

I've seen this idea around the blogosphere lately. And let's be honest, would I really be Allie if I didn't copy borrow someone else's idea?
Besides. I leave for Charlotte in about 24 hours, depending on how long Allison and I's mimosa induced mani/pedi's take. And we all know my brain is consumed with packing and trying not to forget something. Oh and have I mentioned I still haven't gotten roommate gifts? Totes not kidding.

1. BBC Charlotte.

I can't even tell you how excited I am to meet some of my favorite ladies. YOU are on my shit list though. I mean your husband's graduation does not trump a girls weekend in Charlotte. Especially when it's for the better of your blog. PRIORITIES.

(please know I'm not cray cray. it's just our relationship)

2. Finding out you graduate in 6 months.

I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday. Long story short I was assigned the wrong advispr last fall when I applied. I was worried sick that she was telling me the wrong stuff to take. Turns out, I have one MAYBE two classes left and then I'm done. Well at least done with my general ed. To call my parents & brother and ask them what they were doing in December and then to hear their excitement when I told them they'd be watching me graduate just melts my heart. I seriously have the BEST support system ever!

3. Summertime

I mean technically it's still spring and the temps here in NC have been unusually cool for this time of year. I'm not complaining. I would much rather be cold than hot. When I say summertime I mean I'm not in school. It's so nice to spend the night cleaning out your DVR or catching up on the last season of Army Wives on Netflix instead of going to class or doing homework.

4. Gentlemen.

Nothing makes my heart more happy than when a man - friend, boyfriend, brother, dad, stranger, etc. opens a door for a girl. And if you open my car door? Marry me now. 

#kidding #kindof #storyforanotherday

5. Girlfriends.

I have the best. 

Whether they are in the same town as me (Carrie, Kelley & Allison) or decided to up and move to DC (Megan) or if they are in Nebraska, Georgia or Arkansas. I couldn't make it through this life without them. Period.

6. Pedicures.

Well I will be happy about this on Friday.

I need one bad. BAD. and what is a better excuse than BBC?

Plus there is a full bar.

Which means early morning/day drinking. You can't go wrong there.

7. Momma K.

I'm not even sure why I decided to call her that, but it's cute and I'm gonna go with it.

I love her. and I've always loved her. But as each day goes by, I love her even more, if that's even possible. I should also tell you, she's a creeper. I mean where did you think I get it from? I have a date. She's googling away. Then I get texts like this one.

(just ignore the date on that ;) ok)

8. iTunes.

I know, I know. iTunes isn't anything knew, but I finally bit the bullet and bought songs so I wouldn't be stuck in a quiet office all day. Now I'm addicted and I have crazy iTunes bills. #sorrynotsorry

9. Frozen yogurt.

I had some Monday night and I could have gotten some Tuesday night. And Wednesday night. And I could probably eat some tonight.

Let's just point on that the froyo place I frequent got a frequent buyers program like 6 months ago maybe. I've been 15 times. And that's when I actually remember to enter my phone number. I mean I should get a coupon for remembering to enter my phone number into the little computer thingy 15 times. We won't even discuss how many times I get frozen yogurt when I'm at mom and dad's.... 

10. Working a short week.

It's my Friday. Nothing is better than having a three day weekend. 

Well except not having to work at all, but I have to dream realistically here.

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This lady is no stranger to TOATS.
If you don't already know her you are legit missing out.

I kinda love/hate her. 

Love her for all the obvious reasons. 

Hate her because she has met my bloggy BFF in real life.

Meet Jen from That's What She Read.

Blog | Twitter | Bloglovin | Facebook

Now... A little about Jen.

Hi, I'm Jen! I like to think of my blog as my home sweet home!

It's where I share about the books I love, my life and everything in between, including being a mother and a wanna-be-writer.

I'm a lover of books, coffee, pretty paper, comfy clothes, and bright colors.

Why I Blog

Pretty self-explanatory.

It's A Good Thing She's Cute

What to do when your kids copy your not so nice words.

The Face Behind This Blog

All about Jen.

Make sure you come back tomorrow. Ty-Ty Princess Cakes will be here filling in for me :)

Online Dating Exposed

I always give some kind of introduction.

Let's be real, ya'll are just here for the pictures.

So I'll get to the point.

As always, send me the horrible online dating pictures you find to:

talesofatwentysomethingblogger@gmail.com

I've even included six pictures today. 

You're welcome.

So fresh and so clean

via

We get it. You are a clean dude.

Do we need to see you shaving your face before we even see you?

Probably not.

Take notes. Save the creepy shaving pictures until at least the 3rd or 4th date.

at least.

It's getting cold in here...

via

He felt the need to tell us it was getting chilly.

Really?

The scarves and multiple hats you have on didn't give that away.

And you're beard... shave it right now.

Bananas for you

I get it.

It's hopefully probably Halloween and you thought it would be cool to be a gorilla.

Do you have a concussion?

When did dressing up like a gorilla ever seem like a good idea?

GTL

Guidos, Tans, Laugh

That's how it goes right?

I'm sorry if you live in New Jersey and I'm offending you, 

but you can't tell me he isn't the perfect guido.

Mike Tyson Wannabe

via

Nothing about a face tattoo is attractive.

Nothing.

 Turtle, Turtle!

I'm speechless.

I guess he's trying to make a joke?

Whatever he's doing... he failed miserably.

Turtle.... Party of One?

Mr. Show It All

brought to you by a non blogger friend of Stephanie's named Megan

I can't believe I'm even sharing.

But I literally had to. I just had to.

My thoughts?

You have to be a dickhead if you post a picture like this 

to your dating profile.

And in case you needed a reason why your life is good...

Thanks to the married one... Brin

End of story.

_________________________________________________________________________________ Today I want you to meet someone I have known for 8 years now. In real life obviously. Most of our friends don't get blogging. Lucky for me, one of mine did and I'm sharing her with you today!
Meet Megan from M Cubed!

Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Bloglovin

Now... A little about Megan

I'm Megan!  I recently moved from my home state of North Carolina to DC.  So far I love this new way of life.  I'm a lover of books, music, movies, & beer.  Sarcasm is my second language.  A few things you should know about my blog: it is not about fashion and it is not about a particular lifestyle.  You will not learn any DIY projects and you will not learn any new recipes.  I do think you will laugh and perhaps you will find that you have walked a mile in my shoes yourself.  Stick around for a while.  You'll have fun, I promise.    

On the Prowl Like a Diva Lioness

What happens when you're new to a city and you are trying to find new girlfriends

Why I Will Never Be a Bad Ass

Why sweet Megan will always be sweet Megan

Tattoos Gone Wrong: Part Deux

Why you should think before you ink

There you have it ladies.

One of the sweetest girls you will ever meet

And I'm not just saying that... I know :)